Happy Birthday Eddie Izzard!

Action Transvestite (and the funniest man on earth), comedian Eddie Izzard turns 49 today.

In assorted sketches, he explains why vampires are not a threat in real life (because we all know the drill: "Sign of the cross, Stake to the heart, then, Garlic Bread ... or perhaps garlic bread as a starter; why it would be better if Jesus's body was represented by cheese than bread as it goes better with wine (Eat this cheese, for it is my body") and how the Trojans attacked Achilles' heel with crabs and lobster. “No, not the crabs and lobsters! Aah! Aah!"

So, herewith a recipe for Garlic Bread with Cheese and Crab. Bet you didn't think I could tie that all together -- ha! (Feel free to add lobster if you're feeling flush, but I didn't use it in the original recipe.)

Perhaps Garlic Bread with Cheese and Crab as a Starter

One loaf of ciabatta, cut in half horizontally
one stick softened butter
6 cloves of minced garlic
1 t. salt
1/2 lb fresh crab
1/4 c. mozzarella
1/4 c. mayonnaise
1/4 c. sun-dried tomatoes
2 scallions, finely chopped
1 t. Old Bay Seasoning

1/2 c. mozzarella cheese to top

Blend butter, garlic and salt. Top ciabatta halves with garlic butter and place under broiler until lightly browned

Combine all other ingredients. Top lightly-toasted bread with crab mix and then sprinkle with mozzarella cheese. Place under broiler again for 3-5 minutes, until top is melted and bubbly.

Fettunta (aka best garlic bread ever)

I just read two posts on Fettunta, literally "greased bread" that's prepared in Italy to celebrate the first olive oil of the season. It's almost dinner time, so I decided to make some myself. It's amazing how four simple ingredients can come together to create a masterpiece.

INGREDIENTS
Great bread, sliced one inch thick (I used multi-grain)
Garlic cloves, cut in half
Your Best Olive Oil
Sea Salt (not too finely ground, flakes are good -- I'm a Maldon girl myself)

1) Toast the bread or grill it under the broiler.
2) Rub cut garlic cloves on toasted bread.
3) Drizzle with olive oil.
4) Sprinkle with sea salt.

That's all there is to it, unless like me, you find it impossible to be a purist. I sprinkled on a little Zaa'tar, a Lebanese blend of wild thyme, oregano, sesame seeds, and sumac for a Levantine take on fettunta.

Thanks to Aki and Alex at Ideas in Food (www.ideasinfood.com -- who I met at a PR event in NYC several years ago -- the one in the apartment with the real stuffed animals in the basement) and Elaine, who writes the sensational blog, The Italian Dish (www.theitaliandish.com)

New Orleans Needs You

Five years ago, Hurricane Katrina devastated the gulf coast (and the city of New Orleans.) The city is still coming back and is unarguably, the best food city in the US. If you can, go to New Orleans which still needs your support. While you're planning your trip (and to whet your appetite), try this recipe for Garlic Bread from the legendary Commander's Palace.

1 loaf French bread
8 tbsp. (1 stick) unsalted butter
2 cloves garlic, mashed to a puree
1/4 c. finely chopped fresh dill
1/4 c. freshly grated Parmesan cheese

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Slice bread lengthwise. Melt butter in a small skillet, add garlic and heat gently for 2 minutes.

Brush the melted butter generously on the cut sides of the bread halves. Sprinkle with dill and cheese.

The [Positive] Effects of Garlic Bread on Family Interactions

In a 2000 study titled Effects of Garlic Bread on Family Interactions, Dr. Alan Hirsch, neurological director of The Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation reported that the smell of garlic bread enhanced positive family interaction by 68.4 percent, while the taste of it increased pleasant communication by a staggering 99.4 percent. If you’d like to test out this theory, here’s the official (finger-licking) recipe from the Gilroy Garlic Festival.

Gourmet Alley Garlic Bread

1/2 c. butter and margarine
1/2 c. oil
3 cloves of garlic
1/2 t. pepper
1/4 t. oregano
1/2 c. white wine
3 T. parsley

Melt butter and margarine in pan. Add oil and garlic. Simmer over low heat for 1 minute. Add pepper, oregano, and wine. Bring to a boil. Add parsley. Remove immediately from heat and pour into baking pan. Cut loaves and half. Toast on grill or under broiler until golden brown. Dip toasted halves cut-side down in butter mixture. Serve immediately.