Montenegro Airlines

The airline only pays for two people to check in over 100 passengers so it takes over two hours to check in and the flight is delayed. Once I check in and start through security, a guard decides that my bag is too big and I have to go back to the ticket counter and re-check. On board, we're assaulted by folk Balkan Muzak. We're served a sandwich that's an insult to the Earl -- a squishy roll filled with a piece of beef and a piece of cheese. Midway through the flight, a baby starts crying at such a high pitch, I swear I see dogs jumping up at the plane. This is not a promising start.