Friday, November 26, 2010

Gangsta's Delight

Rapper Coolio, whose Gangsta's Paradise is one of my favorite songs of all time, has taken an unusual career turn. He started a online cooking show that features recipes that anyone can afford.

In honor of the start of the Christmas Shopping season, the day when many of us are tempted to spend money we don't have, here's Coolio's recipe for Ghettalian Garlic Bread! (The recipe is designed to accompany his tender Fork Steak.)

Demos are available on This concludes my use of profanity -- any adult content in the recipes below has been edited out with the judicious use of asterisks.

Coolio's Ghettalian Garlic Bread

French bread
18 oz. mayonnaise
Grated cheese - cheddar and jack
1 stick of butter
1/2 c. crushed garlic
hot sauce

1. Cut your French bread down the center. Be careful, cause your broke-*ss probably ain't got any insurance.
2. Lay them flat on their backs on a baking sheet.
3. Slosh your Mayonnaise into a medium size bowl.
4. Drop some cheese into the mix. Don't be scared, toss it in. Toss it!
5. Take a melted stick of butter and pour into your spread. Shaka!
6. Toss a half a cup of garlic in that motha'. Zulu!
7. Pour yourself some hot sauce up in that b*tch. That's for color.
8. Spread that creamy goodness across your bread. Come on, now. Put that shit on! Don't be know butter, mayonnaise, and cheese don't cost nothing.
9. Put that into your oven along with your Fork Steak. They can co-habitate until the cheese on your bread is golden brown.

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